Friday, December 30, 2005
No SHIT!
Another sleepless night. Extreme exhaustion didn't help. By the time I fell asleep, it was time to wake up for work. And all that tossing and turning was a trip down anxiety lane. So what's the aftermath? A trip to the toilet launching huge missile. Diarrhoea and anxiety comes hand in hand for me. My body choose to produce shit when I'm stressed, worried or even nervous. The painful and strange feeling in the tummy will linger till the next few hours. How inconvinient! But I don't remember having such predicament during school days.So how is it gonna be like on the day? I can hear the Mak Andam say "Sorry eh tunggu kejap.. pengantin pergi toilet..." And that will halt the groom standing in front of the Dais fidgeting while the guests wonder upon my abscence... "Cold feet? Pengsan? Sembunyi? Terkencet?" And the sight of me flushed face tip-toeing back to the seat. What if I need a second go? Oh nooooooooooooo. Are there tablets to stop the shit factory? No wait. Make that a temporary stop or rather postponing the production else I will be in deeper shit. Literally.
Anyhoo, enuff about shit. This year have not been so bad. I won't call it a shitty year. So many things have happened in such a short period of time everything is just a whirlwind and a motion blur in my memory bank. So maybe I should have applied Smart Blur instead no? My attempt to come up with highlights thruout Jan to Dec has utterly failed. As for resolutions, I never bothered to have any in recent years cause I will forget what it was in the first place by end of January. Heh! (New year comes and still no new skin. tsk tsk!)
Have a LOVELY and SMASHING new year everydobi!
"Where troubles melt like lemon drop high above the chimney top.."
Posted at 9:23 AM
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Hat-trick
The pooooo-dle is back. Meow!Such a looong weekend. Yawwwn. There were plenty of places to avoid in the midst of the crazed-shopping season. And oh boy did I avoid it allright! By staying home! Thruout the 3 days. Hee-yah! I swear by the bulan, the bintang and the langit! (Hey I have stayed for more than 5 days without leaving and I wasn't even sick) Despite having list of errands to run, I decided to put it on halt while I do whatever I can that needed to be done indoors.
Sometimes staying home can be so therapeutic. Depending on how the environment and atmosphere that is. There are times when staying indoors is not a top-of-the-list choice. And that would be when I would be out all day. There was alot of name-writing, folding, envelope-pasting, hair-counting, nose-picking, snacks munching etc etc etc. Have been so busy the past few months and its simply so shiok so stay put.
After self-imprisonment of 3 days, < exaggerate >I am a pale-looking creature due to lack of sun exposure and you can see me withering slowly like a dried bunga.< /exaggerate >
This week will be a 3-day work week for me. Whooopeeeee!!!
Ps: The Hanyut Telemovie scene where the 3 girls were at camp and 1 of them was having sex with the bf and they openly discuss it really disturbs me. Reminds me of my colleague's husband who was in the bus when 3 teenaged girls behind him openly discussed it in such manner ; "Alah first time mesti ah sakit sak....lepas tu kau mesti rasa sedap nak lagi punya..." The other girl went "abeh kalau sangkut camane sak?" The terror one replies "Suroh lah guy kau pakai condom bodoh!! Dia mesti tahu lah apa nak buat.."
A reality that is just too much for our society to accept and what more handle.
Posted at 9:35 AM
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Unorderly Snipped
An attempt to have my long locks cut in a reasonably fashionable manner has somewhat turned into a sleepless disaster. It has been a while since I stepped into a hair salon. Given the circumstances of being covered on the head makes it inappropriate for me to walk-in a regular salon. I used to had it done at places like Reds, Jean Yip, Peter & Guys etc. Cause curly hair isn't something every dresser knows best how to handle. So turning to pros were the best and only option. Else I would end up walking out looking like an 80's rock star wannabe.So anyhoo, Nazzie recommended me to try out an outlet in Bedok which cater for 'special' needs like mine. But sadly, it was a full house with another long queue to it. And the rain made it unbearable for me to wait. Hence I made way to a place in my hometown. Much to what me and Nazzie already agreed that it isn't a wise choice. But impatient me just had to have the ends snipped away. Not that I have never done it myself before but I want it to be proper this time around.
I was not even asked what I want to do with my hair. She just made me sat and continued gossiping with other makciks in the salon. And who in the name of all stupidity would use a thin comb for curly hair??????????? Don't they teach you that in hair school or something? A wanted trim turned out to be massive snipping. And I repeatedly said I just want a trim. Does a waist length hair that became an above the bra-line length sound like a trim to you??? I don't even wat to start with the awful bangs.
Impulse decision. Yes. But I just wanted to get a cut before my treatment at Harem tomorrow. After surfing Harem's site so many times I really didn't notice the part where it says 'haircut'. I seriously thought that it was merely a spa. And this morning when I re-check the site, there it was. Shit. I should have just get it done there altogether.
45 days is not enough for it to grow into something more decent. I hate that salon. I hate myself. I hate my hair. Imagine a poodle. Ok now imagine an 80's rock star like an old do of Bon Jovi. Put them together. Morph. YEAH!!! THAT'S ME!!
Sorry NO PICTURES. I will not humiliate myself further.
UPSET!!!!
Posted at 9:56 AM
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Uglified
I am perpetually sick of my skin lah. No not the one I'm physically stuck with for the rest of my breathing days. But this virtual one that has no life. Technically. Been wanting to change it since Ramadhan and looky here..we are just days away from 2006. Bleargh.Posted at 4:04 PM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Plus one
Not exactly thrilling to hit the quarter of a century mark. But age is nothing but a number no? Bullcrap. And it also marks the first time in 8 years there was no flowers that comes with a huge bear at the doorstep signed by him.Heartfelt thanks to those who wished me yesterday.
Posted at 9:07 AM
Friday, December 16, 2005
Untitled
The choice is simple. Are we to live our lives influenced by the voice of others or are we set on an unpredictable journey in search of our inner voice and create life through our own experiences?Let us not follow where the path may lead, let us go where there is no path...and leave a trail. - A Japanese Proverb. (Akumara miyoto matsisushi..kropok lah! Nak cakap jepon tak tahu so aku translate kan..)
Floating to see you tonight.
Posted at 5:19 PM
Monday, December 12, 2005
Unannounced
In the midst of all this madness, his office has to send him to Jakarta and Manila on consecutive days. On short notice. Great ain't it. Just great!!! Bad timing. Simply bad timing. I hate iiiiiit!!! Arghhhhhhhh!!!Oh Almighty, the Great and Merciful; please bring him back home safely.
Posted at 11:35 AM
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Push The Button
If you can't beat 'em, errrrr join 'em? No way. You just can't shut people up.
My ears already berbulu now with all the comments being hurdled at either me, my mum or other third parties. Ada je yang tak kena. Firstly, it was about the dulangs. How some of them reacted like it is some kind of an appaling unforgiving sin not to have them as part of the event. It goes like these;
- "Haaah! Kan dia anak sorang perempuan..takkan takde dulang-dulang??"
- "Kan tak seri takde dulang-dulang!!"
- "Bapak dia tak marah ke takde dulang-dulang untok anak perempuan dia?"
- "E eh kenapa sampai gitu skali. Takkan lah lokek nah?"
And why no dulangs? Because Daddy says it is a waste of time and money and not necessary. Whatever gifts we want to indulge for each other can be done later on our own in private, so he claims. Thanks Dad for that idea and sticking by it. I don't see what is the fuss about with those people man. Bapak aku takde hal dorang yang nak carik hal.
Secondly, about the location of our marital abode. Yes I spent my whole life up till this point living in the eastern part of Singapore, Bedok for a while than on to Tampines. But we bought a house in Bukit Panjang. To be near his parents. Anywhere not in the east is a place that look and sound sooooo alien to me. But he asked my parents permission first before we plan to even buy a house. And guess what's the comments?
- "Asal jauh nah!! Dia kan sorang anak perempuan. Takkan u kasi dia tinggal jauh2 gitu"
Yeah that is basically the SAME thing said by everyone whom asked about the house location. Helloooo it is still within Singapore. I'm not moving to JB..not even Pulau Ubin. Durh! Just because I'm the only daughter I have to menyelit bawah ketiak my parents even after marriage? Than what is the point of having a husband and getting married in the first place???? Nasib baik mak aku orang yang berilmu. Of course she rebuke subtly by telling them that it is only right for a wife to duly follow the husband and not the other way around. Cedebah. Feweeet. U go mother!!
And last night. Another straw. Maybe not the last yet. Keep it comin' bebeh. Currently our house is going through the renovation as we speak. It will done by January. InsyaAllah. And we plan to move in after the wedding event is over on the Sunday. Abeh tak dapat fly off terus pergi honeymoon kan. So balik rumah sendiri pon jadi ah. And what do some people have to say about that?
- "Balik rumah sendiri malam tu jugak? Macam orang Cina je!!"
Huh? Ape seh? Nak aku start pasal perbezaan antara adat Melayu dengan adat Islam ke? Our community are already deep into the comfort zone that is surrounded by adat Melayu. Sepatutnya si pengantin perempuan dibawa oleh ayahnya ke rumah pengantin lelaki dan dinikahkan disitu. Itu baru adat Islam. Bukan sebaliknya. Tapi tidak semua termampu lakukan tersebut termasuk keluarga aku. Kerana kononnya "tak dibuat orang".
I guess most Malay mindset conform to common practise. Anything out of the norm means you're going against some sort of an invinsible rule. And that will make you a different person in their eyes in a very wrong way. I told my mum to just ignore such comments. Don't bother to rebuke or respond in any way. Let people say to their heart content.
It's just a vigorous shake on my shoulders for me. Before all this, I was so ignorant about the things that could be said from the people you thought you knew your whole life. When you were young or not in the limelight, these things are so oblivious that they barely exist in your eyes and ears. But overnight, it can all smack right onto your face.
I'm not going to get affected by those words. I'm just affected the fact it comes from certain people. Whatever it is, it's my life. My choice.
My ears already berbulu now with all the comments being hurdled at either me, my mum or other third parties. Ada je yang tak kena. Firstly, it was about the dulangs. How some of them reacted like it is some kind of an appaling unforgiving sin not to have them as part of the event. It goes like these;
- "Haaah! Kan dia anak sorang perempuan..takkan takde dulang-dulang??"
- "Kan tak seri takde dulang-dulang!!"
- "Bapak dia tak marah ke takde dulang-dulang untok anak perempuan dia?"
- "E eh kenapa sampai gitu skali. Takkan lah lokek nah?"
And why no dulangs? Because Daddy says it is a waste of time and money and not necessary. Whatever gifts we want to indulge for each other can be done later on our own in private, so he claims. Thanks Dad for that idea and sticking by it. I don't see what is the fuss about with those people man. Bapak aku takde hal dorang yang nak carik hal.
Secondly, about the location of our marital abode. Yes I spent my whole life up till this point living in the eastern part of Singapore, Bedok for a while than on to Tampines. But we bought a house in Bukit Panjang. To be near his parents. Anywhere not in the east is a place that look and sound sooooo alien to me. But he asked my parents permission first before we plan to even buy a house. And guess what's the comments?
- "Asal jauh nah!! Dia kan sorang anak perempuan. Takkan u kasi dia tinggal jauh2 gitu"
Yeah that is basically the SAME thing said by everyone whom asked about the house location. Helloooo it is still within Singapore. I'm not moving to JB..not even Pulau Ubin. Durh! Just because I'm the only daughter I have to menyelit bawah ketiak my parents even after marriage? Than what is the point of having a husband and getting married in the first place???? Nasib baik mak aku orang yang berilmu. Of course she rebuke subtly by telling them that it is only right for a wife to duly follow the husband and not the other way around. Cedebah. Feweeet. U go mother!!
And last night. Another straw. Maybe not the last yet. Keep it comin' bebeh. Currently our house is going through the renovation as we speak. It will done by January. InsyaAllah. And we plan to move in after the wedding event is over on the Sunday. Abeh tak dapat fly off terus pergi honeymoon kan. So balik rumah sendiri pon jadi ah. And what do some people have to say about that?
- "Balik rumah sendiri malam tu jugak? Macam orang Cina je!!"
Huh? Ape seh? Nak aku start pasal perbezaan antara adat Melayu dengan adat Islam ke? Our community are already deep into the comfort zone that is surrounded by adat Melayu. Sepatutnya si pengantin perempuan dibawa oleh ayahnya ke rumah pengantin lelaki dan dinikahkan disitu. Itu baru adat Islam. Bukan sebaliknya. Tapi tidak semua termampu lakukan tersebut termasuk keluarga aku. Kerana kononnya "tak dibuat orang".
I guess most Malay mindset conform to common practise. Anything out of the norm means you're going against some sort of an invinsible rule. And that will make you a different person in their eyes in a very wrong way. I told my mum to just ignore such comments. Don't bother to rebuke or respond in any way. Let people say to their heart content.
It's just a vigorous shake on my shoulders for me. Before all this, I was so ignorant about the things that could be said from the people you thought you knew your whole life. When you were young or not in the limelight, these things are so oblivious that they barely exist in your eyes and ears. But overnight, it can all smack right onto your face.
I'm not going to get affected by those words. I'm just affected the fact it comes from certain people. Whatever it is, it's my life. My choice.
Ok I can't resist saying this.. kwwwwhaaaaaabbbbbiiiissssssh!!! TAKE THAT (refer entry below) you nit-wit!! LOL.
Posted at 10:27 AM
Monday, December 05, 2005
Tops of the Pops
Before Boyzone, 911, Code Red, N Sync, Backstreet Boys, Caught In The Act and many more pretty-boys invasion on earth, there was the most popular, successful and the Cream of the Crop of all boyband since the Beatles. Except that they didn't make a breakthrough in the US chart with "Back for Good" which only stayed in the top 40 for a couple of weeks.
Back then I was 15. Crazy over them. Bought every cassette, CDs and VCD with their name on. Bought every freakin copies of Smash Hits Magazine if they were featured in it (which turned out to be every month). That included a lot of other UK and Aussie mags like T.O.P.S, TV Hits etc. Me and my girlfriends talked about them all day long. I will even highlight my textbooks if there was any "Take That" in the sentences. Xiao. There was me known as Sabrina Owen, my bestfren Suhaily Williams and not forgetting Balkis Barlow. Berangan! The boys in school thought we were crazy. I even had my files and textbooks wrapped with posters and pictures of them. Pure madness. I went to their concert when they came down to Singapore. I even bought plenty of their posters, calendars, books, files, stationeries when I was holidaying in the UK and Australia. And when they split in 1996, we cried. We cried like a mad woman who'd lost her child to a hideous momok. And I remember my class monitor Peishan asking me in the toilet if there was anything wrong. Imagine the confused deranged look on her face when I told her. Everytime I think about it I can't stop laughing at how silly that was. Like so kental.
But those were the days. Of boyband chasing and hormones raging. The only boyband that I was madly in love with. I was so loyal that I boycott all the rest. And my reaction after reading about their tour reunion in the newspaper, wasn't screechingly enthusiastic. Thrilled yes. But don't expect me to jump up and down screaming like I would then. They sounded good together. And yes I would buy their CD if they release 1. And definitely yes I will go to the concert if there is one here. But there won't be any hyper-ventilating or panties-throwing behaviour. I will be more relaxed and enjoying the performance and music like any grown up would. It would be nice. To reminisce the good ol' days. With good ol' frens.
Posted at 11:08 AM
Friday, December 02, 2005
Yo-yo YOYO BALL!!
It's so much fun and easy to do! Just let it goooooooooo and it will come back to u!!Best eh main yoyo..best kan? Apa muka aku ni macam yoyo ke?!! Madang krapu skeper ning-kam-poot puntrek parang speder!
Ceritanye begini. Aku dapat email. Yang mengatakan kepada IT manager untok clearkan computer2 di empty cubicles. As usual aku in the 'cc' part of the email lah pasal aku pon IT staff jugak lah kan. So aku scroll down lah baca the content of the same email. Rupanya ada pupil (law undergrad) coming in Dec. 5 pulak tu. Although ofis ni takes up the whole floor in the Suntec tower, tempat dah tak cukop. Number of staff is growing by day. Anyway, as I was scrolling, I saw a line that says "LP, could you move the IT girl from the workstation to somewhere else, and so that we can have this workstation for Alexandria."
Dah nak masok setahun kat sini masih tak tahu ke nama aku!! Kehulur-kehilir satu ofis ni aku terlari sana lari sini supporting all the users here n she can't simply appreciate it by referring to me using my simple name???? I'm sitting right in front of her gawddamnit. And this is the blardy second time they ask me to move workstation. Yelah aku setakat outsource staff je. 'Pekerja-angkat'. But still!! Kalau aku tak datang keja, mampus korang terkial-kial. Manager korang bukan boleh harap. Semua dah complain kat aku betapa 'beratnya' si dia nak attend to the staff. IT Managers only attend to the big shot lawyers whom are the equity partners. Orang macam aku lah socai. Lain balak suma dia tolak kat aku. Standard!
I won't be surprise if next time they employ more and more lawyers, aku kena dudok diam2 dalam server room tu yang sejuk kejong macam aisbok. Setiap kali aku masok je confirm lari gi toilet sebab nak terkucil. Aisbok rumah aku pon tak begitu sejuk nak mampos.
Ini lah kesudahannye nanti ...
Kesian ehk aku!!
Posted at 9:40 AM
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Pack and go
I just can't find time to re-organise my things back into the i-didn't-pay-for-new wardrobe. And when I did have time last nite, I had to attend to sweet ol' granny who came unannounced. Any volunteer? $4 per hour can?I can't decide which bunch of clothes to stay put for now and another bunch to be dumped at my marital abode. If I have it my way, I want everything to stay and I will bring them all when the time comes. Impossible me. Everything that I own is spread on the living room floor as I speak.
Despite giving away alot of still good/new clothes and bags, the size of my junk don't seem to subside. How now brown cow?
Let's hope the pile will at least be halved by this Saturday.